A$$ = Cash

"A$$ = Cash (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Let My Booty Do All The Talking)
by Kristen Henning

BACK COVER:
You ever heard of music called Grindcore? Well, you can reinvent that whole genre with this book. You can grind your butt so wild and good that the local boys will think it's music.

"Oh, was a symphony? Or...was that just some girl's fine booty?"

And then BAM! You're there. Mayor of Grindtown, USA. Governor of the dance floor. Ambassador to men's crotches everywhere. When the neon lights come on and the sweat starts pouring, you're the goddamn United Nations! Pulverizing the joint chiefs of chief joints. Ride'em, ride'em, ride'em, PEACE.

But what, are you doing this gig for free? Well, sometimes. Sometimes, you just have to believe in the faith of charity work and let them boys get a little preview before the show. But those drinks will come like you're the only cowgirl with a short enough gun holster to really hold those guns that the boys think are theirs.

But baby, those guns belong to you! Those six shooters will be all-night shooters if you play your cards right down at the saloon. Without a bar tab, with the piano player trying to catch a good view.

Sorry, boys, these drinks are on you. But maybe we can switch drinks for a fast-talker, maybe some slow dancing after some faster drinks. You don't even know what's happening right now, do you? Well, guess what? You're already down to your underwear! Just now, I did that.

Works like a charm, this train with a caboose doing more work than the engine. Let that engine rest at night and let the caboose run 'til it's red. The rails won't end, hell no. Unless you want them to. Then you're the conductor, conducting a symphony and a train all at the same time.

Bam. 8 drinks and you're the new queen of Bootytown. Who's the king? Don't know, changes every night. Wooooooooooooooooooooo!

Whisper techno songs, shake that ass down every flight of stairs, never ever pay for a drink and read this goddamn book.

Ladies, I'll see you on the dance floor.

Gentlemen, you'll see me on the dance floor.