Seven Pounds

"Seven Pounds"
the novelization
by Jake Kilroy

BACK COVER:
You have no idea what the movie was about, but damn, you wanted to see it, right?

Well, now you can read it. Like a smart person.

It had everything. Confusion. Selflessness. A man screaming into his cell phone in the rain. A wife-sort-of-character crying at some point. Someone saying that you can't screw up people's lives. Rosario Dawson.

I mean, everything.

Well, guess what? That's all the novelization is. It's all just the good parts. Nevermind all that stupid sadness and aimless flashback bullshit. No, sir. It's nothing but Will Smith's character yelling into a phone in the rain, "Do what you've got to do! You promised!" Then, at one point, Roasrio Dawson shows up and gets naked. More yelling. More naked. More crying.

Ok, so there wasn't really any wild crazy sexy nudity in the movie. But there is in the book!

Naked. Right. Next. To. Will. Smith. While. He's. Yelling. In. The. Rain.

How amazing is that? That's how you know it's good drama, if there's someone yelling into a wet phone with tits somewhere.

Yep. That'll be $39.95.