Party In Pairs (With Class)

"Party In Pairs (With Class)"
by Mallory Larsen

BACK COVER:
Who's going to hold your drink when you kiss or fight someone? Who's going to smash things with you when you say the party sucks (after you've been asked several times to leave)? Who's going to steal stuff from the party you just had to leave? Who's going to hail a cab by flashing it down instead of flagging? Who's going to take you to your bed and either go saint or sinner on your ass (literally)? Who's going to buy you breakfast the next morning, saying that you totally wanted it and "taking advantage" is libel?

Well, I don't know. I'm a book. But I bet someone is!

Situations where this book may help:

- An ex just showed up to the same party as you with a date, and you can't find your switchblade, so you make your friend look so good, your ex kills his or herself on the dance floor with a dirty knife he or she found in the sink.

- A circus where the ringleader asks for two volunteers and you don't want to work with an audience clown or real clown, because, well, screw clowns .

- Some board games suggests you need a partner and you'd rather have sex with a handle of vodka before you force yourself into a threeway.

- You chose a song at the bar and some bitch changes it. You gotta punch some lessons. Who's gonna hold those arms while you dump a something-tonic all over their face, yelling racial slurs that don't make sense, like "lagibaloo!"

- You want to get down.